June 2010

I can't believe it's the end of June. This month has just been a whirlwind of adventures, emotions feelings and events.

The month of May took a while to end... so I figured that the rest of the summer would do the same. I was restless to leave Utah. I was ready. Other than packing......

This month was crazy. My sister was gone for 3 weeks of the month. Lisa got an internship in NYC, and will be moving out in a week. I have 40 days until I leave Utah forever. It's an amazing mixture of emotions. I can't wait to leave, but want to put life on hold for a few more weeks to do everything that I haven't in Utah, to see everyone that I haven't. I'm going to be gone for a week in July, so I only have about 5 weeks in Utah. It's so crazy to think about. August 6th.

This month I lost a good friend to emotions and feelings that weren't for the best, but I also met a few new people that have helped me realize all the great things in life and have inspired me to really take advantage of life. During this whole transition period I've really realized who my true friends are, and that sometimes trying to be someone's friend just isn't worth it. I'm so grateful for life.

and friends.

and family.

and the mountains.

and sunshine.

“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."

Here's a song that I think fits well with a lot of people's lives right now. It doesn't specifically have to refer to relationships, I think it's just an empowering song.

"Wrong Baby Wrong Baby Wrong" by Martina McBride

Wrong baby wrong baby wrong
It ain’t the end of the world
Don’t you worry pretty girl
Cause now that he’s gone baby gone baby gone
You got nothing to lose
Count the minutes if you want to
It won’t be long baby long baby long
‘Til you find somebody new

Come on now
Everyone falls down
Everyone crawls now and then
Then they get up again
You cry if you want to
That’s what we all do
But if you think you’ll never move on you’re wrong baby

Cry baby cry baby cry
Go on and let it all out
I ain’t leavin’ you now
And we can fly baby fly baby fly
Let’s share a bottle of wine
We can laugh about the good times
And you’ll know why baby why baby why
It’s gonna be alright

Come on now
Everyone falls down
Everyone crawls now and then
Then they get up again
You cry if you want to
That’s what we all do
But if you think you’ll never move on you’re wrong baby wrong

Oh you ain’t gone
baby wrong baby wrong
There’s nothing wrong with movin on
When you know he’s good and gone

Come on now
Everyone falls down
Everyone crawls now and then
Then they get up again
You cry if you want to
That’s what we all do

Come on now
Everyone falls down
Everyone crawls now and then
Then they get up again
You cry if you want to
That’s what we all do
But if you think you’ll never move on you’re wrong baby wrong
You’re wrong baby wrong
Wrong baby wrong baby wrong

Okay, I like being on my own. I think relationships are messy and that peoples feelings get hurt. Who needs it? We're young, we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world; might as well have fun and save the serious stuff for later. - summer, (500) Days of Summer

It's been awhile since I last posted anything, it still feels goofy I guess. Just to spill thoughts right here.

Anyway, I always think of things I want to post, and when I sit down later to do so, I always forget what I wanted to.

All I know lately is that I have been able to discover who I really am, not based off of anyone else in my life. Leaving to start such a big chapter in my life, I'm trying to really figure out what I want, and don't want, in my life.

I've realized that it really is the small things in life. Fresh food at the Farmers Market, amazing art at the Chalk Festival, reading for hours in a beautiful backyard, or watching the sunset with a good friend.

Lisa and I went to the Great Salt Lake Sunday to watch the sunset. Other than the "U" on the hill, I believe this may be a favorite spot in/around Salt Lake. It's amazing. I wish I had taken advantage of it more while living here. Sure it smells, and there are lots of bugs, but it's amazing to know we have such an incredible view of the sunset in Utah.

The beautiful Sana sent this to me the other day, and it speaks volumes to me right now:

"20 Things I Wish I Knew at 20"

1. Consider the source. If you’re worried about someone who dislikes you, first ask yourself whether they’re an asshole. If you don’t like them, and they don’t like you, that’s not a problem. That’s a mutual understanding.

2. Get off the couch. If you find yourself playing hard to get, don’t pretend to be busy. Just be busy.

3. Don’t waste your time. If you have to play hard to get, move on. You’ll know when you’ve found a healthy relationship because it won’t confuse you.

4. When in doubt, shut up. Silence is a smart negotiation tactic, the best option when you’re processing how to respond, and always more productive than lying about what you’re thinking.

5. Don’t complain. Maybe venting makes you feel better, but letting off steam can also lull you into maintaining the status quo. Unfortunately, the status quo is pissing you off, which is why you’re whining in the first place. If you’re frustrated, turn that energy toward fixing your problems, not bitching about them.

6. Don’t obsess. Worrying is complaint’s ugly cousin. Either use that energy to change your situation, or relax.

7. Find an age-appropriate style. No one wants to see a 20 year old in beige slacks and a wool blazer. Buy trendy clothes, wear the slutty dress, do something ugly with your hair. Be part of your generation, so you can laugh at the photos later.

8. Be polite. It keeps doors open, lessens the potential for misunderstandings, and increases the odds of getting invited back to the beach house.

9. But defend your boundaries. When someone isn’t taking no for an answer, clarify what you want, and then respond forcefully. Being polite to someone who isn’t hearing you is naive.

10. You look good. There’s no such thing as the hottest person in the room. Everyone is attracted to something different, so just take those odds and run with them.

11. Being nice is overrated. In fact, “nice” is the least interesting thing someone can say about you.

12. Keep it to yourself. “She seems nice” is an excellent thing to say about someone you don’t like. Particularly in the company of people you don’t know.

13. Know your audience. When you’re telling a story and someone interrupts you, let them.

14. Let your passion shape your profession. You know that thing your dad says? “If work wasn’t hard, they wouldn’t pay you to do it.” Please. There are professional rock stars, astronauts, puppy trainers, and bloggers.

15. Sex is personal. Don’t bother with one-night stands if they’re not your thing, and don’t judge people for enjoying them (or not). Waiting to sleep with someone doesn’t make you an uptight prude, and jumping into bed doesn’t make you a spontaneous adventure seeker.

16. Focus. The saying, “what you’re thinking about is what you’re becoming” isn’t just chilling, it’s a universal law. Be aware of how you’re investing your attention – including your words, and your actions.

17. Cut yourself a break. Don’t offer a running commentary on your own faults. When you do, the people around you listen. Give yourself space to change your character.

18. Don’t be intimidated. World travelers are just people who bought plane tickets. Pulitzer Prize winners are people who sit alone and write. You can break the most profound accomplishment down to a series of mundane tasks.

19. Choose good company. Ask yourself if a person makes you better or drains your life force. If the answer is B, you’re busy next time they call. And the time after that.

20. Enjoy your body. Odds are you’re more beautiful now than you will be again. Ask your roommate.